An experiment of surrendering

Let’s see where it goes

Welcome to Livialand! 🎢🎡🎠 This is my safe place to share thoughts, experiences, feelings, and everything that happens in this amusement park we call life.

If you are into astrology, you know that the period before your birthday is a moment of deep transition. In Brazil, we even call it the "astral hell," but I prefer to see it the same way an astrologer described it: as the harvest, a moment when everything you've worked through in the past year—or that you've hidden beneath the carpet—comes to the surface. Do you find it scary or blessed?

The duration of this period is a mystery and depends on which tradition you follow. In Kabbalah, it is said to last 52-53 days. For moon lovers, it aligns with the 28-day cycles of the moon. And for others, it may be 31 days.

For me, personally, I could say it started on April 21st (66 days before my birthday) when I moved back to Mexico after spending nearly a year in Europe for my Master's degree. Just like every other trip I've taken to Mexico in my life, I went there because I felt a calling. It's hard to explain where this call comes from—it's simply a resounding "yes" throughout my entire being. Somehow, I feel it is a future version of Livia trying to communicate with me. If you've seen the movie "Interstellar" (which happens to be one of my favorites), and you remember the tesseract scene where a bookshelf is used to access a place beyond our perception of time and space, then you'll understand what I mean. It's exactly the sensation I experience during those moments.

I just knew I needed to be there, even if it meant risking my internship at Universal Orlando Resort, where I am at this very moment. Sending my visa documents to Mexico instead of Ireland, where I initially planned to go, meant longer waiting times for the visa process. But I had to take the risk.

And, of course, everything worked out. I arrived in Mexico and was warmly welcomed by two great friends who took me to a very special bean-to-heart cacao ceremony. Less than 24 hours after leaving the cold and windy Dublin, I found myself sweating in the middle of the jungle, roasting, cracking, and stone-grounding cacao beans. I couldn't feel more grateful for my life.

I knew this was going to be a special period, and I was right. I experienced so many situations, many of which pushed me far beyond my comfort zone. It was during this time that I started writing like I had never written before. I poured my thoughts onto paper, capturing my literal dreams, metaphorical dreams, and daily perceptions of places, people, and myself. Having these experiences and insights recorded was invaluable because I later revisited them and found that they helped me further evolve my belief system.

This post serves as an invitation to everyone reading it—including my future self, in case I forget—because it's quite normal to get trapped by the Matrix, consumed by thoughts like "I must do this” or "I should do that”, even when they don't align with the true desires of our hearts. This kind of thinking often leads to a frustrated, depressed, anxious, and highly medicated society (a big win for the big pharma!).

During the first week of June, I finally decided to read a book that had been recommended to me multiple times before called "The Surrender Experiment”. The author shares his own life story, highlighting how much more abundance and happiness he was able to manifest by opening himself up to what the Universe wanted him to do, rather than solely relying on his own biased thoughts to guide his path.

This book made me realize that I already know how to surrender. In fact, everyone does, especially women, as this is one of our greatest gifts, particularly those who choose to have children. The act of giving our own bodies and blood for a new life to be born is the ultimate act of surrender. However, sometimes we become trapped in the limited belief that we know better and should control everything, even things as uncontrollable as rain.

I specifically mention rain because a few days before leaving Mexico, I attended a Temazcal ceremony (if you're unfamiliar with it, I have a reels on my Instagram from a couple of years ago that you can check out). A Temazcal is essentially a sweat lodge that helps you connect with the womb of Mother Earth and the four elements of nature and their representations. It's an incredible experience for both the physical body, as it helps remove toxins and boost immunity, and the mind and spirit, as it challenges you and reveals your inner strength (similar to the practice of taking an ice bath, which I also highly recommend).

During this particular Temazcal ceremony, the guide (or shaman, if you prefer to use that term) had planned it for the only evening that was predicted to be rain-free according to the weather forecast. However, rain unexpectedly arrived, turning into a thunderstorm. This became a profound lesson in accepting whatever we were given. Honestly, out of the numerous Temazcal ceremonies I've participated in over the years, this one was perhaps the most powerful, and it was perfect just the way it was—with rain and thunder.

It takes courage to trust that life is magical beyond our dreams and plans. It requires recognizing that there are no curses or rejections, only redirections towards a more aligned path and experience to be lived.

I hope it was exhilarating, filled with twists and turns that kept you on the edge of your seat. Remember, just like a rollercoaster, life is full of ups and downs.

Embrace the thrill and excitement it brings, and may you keep enjoying the ride!